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Discontent

You are now “ruined for the ordinary” is something I was told often when I was a missionary with Youth With a Mission.  At the time is sounded great. Who wants to be “ordinary?”  I certainly didn’t!  Now that I am living a more normal (although still far from normal!) life, I am realizing just how true that statement is. I have been ruined, because I have experienced things that many people don’t.  I have lived by faith, I have travelled the world, I have seen lives truly changed by Jesus, and I have experienced real community.

Lately, I have been feeling this deep sense of discontent. I have blamed my circumstances. However, I believe the discontent stems from not living the life of faith and community that I once did. I have really struggled to reconcile my previous lifestyle with my current one.

Our current community is far from “ordinary!” We are part of an amazing, life giving church but it is very different from what I am used to. We have a great family here and I know this is exactly where we are supposed to be. However, I am deeply missing what we left behind.  What I am feeling is very similar to culture shock! I am not sure why it took three years for me to feel the full weight of our decision to leave YWAM but it has. 

YWAM is now part of my past and I cannot live on those experiences alone anymore.  Living a life of faith, seeing lives changed and experiencing real community are opportunities that are still available to me but  it takes a lot more work in my current circumstances.  It is much easier to be “ordinary” and sometimes I wish I could be content with that but that is something I will never be content with!

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3 Comments

  1. You nailed it on the head, sister! I have been struggling with/feeling this very thing ever since I left YWAM in 2006. I know YWAM isn’t the place for me anymore (at this stage) yet I struggle to be content with anything less exciting!! I’m just glad to know others out there are feeling the same way. 🙂
    Heidi

    Reply
    • I am sure we are not alone! Although, you are living a pretty extraordinary life 🙂 Publishing a book is no small accomplishment. Congrats!

      Reply
  2. So… Move out here where we are and we’ll have exciting community! 🙂

    There are some things I like about YWAM community, but others that I don’t miss at all. (Like the common presumption that your schedule belongs to “them” or “us”).

    Freedom is very nice.

    Wouldn’t it be fun to start a Christian Community where everyone owned their own stuff and were united voluntarily for the sake of Christ?

    Ok… I think I’m off topic.

    Ruined for the ordinary has it’s benefits, but ability to be Christian in the ordinary is an essential life skill.

    🙂

    Reply

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