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Motherhood

Ok, so it’s been awhile since I’ve written anything but I’m going to give it another try!

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about being a mom. Not surprising, considering it is about all I do these days. I have come to the conclusion that I was not made to be a mom. I love freedom. I like to do whatever I want, whenever I want. I did not fantasize as a young person about my future children. I am not into crafts of any kind or cooking. I love silence, order and being organized. Chaos makes me feel overwhelmed.

Having kids has taken away most of my freedom, forced me to be creative in ways I’m not interested in, and it feels like constant chaos.  I love my family more than anything else in the whole world but this has been a huge struggle for me the last two and a half years.  I have felt like a bad mom and a bad wife. However, recently I have been learning to just accept myself for who I am. My husband loves me and accepts me despite the fact that I am not very “domestic.” My kids do too. So, I have decided that I will never fit into the “perfect mom” mold and that is ok!

Instead of being miserable and striving to be someone that I am not, I am going to to my best to enjoy these chaotic years. I know I will never get them back.  I will regain my freedom, my kids will lose interest in crafts and the chaos will subside. In the meantime, I will just do MY best!

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1 Comment

  1. Ain’t “ordinary” just great?? 🙂

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