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Beyond Surviving

Several months ago, I came across this quote; “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”- Howard Thurman.   It really resonated with me and I have been thinking about it ever since.  I started to ask myself;  What DOES make me come alive?  That has not been an easy question to answer.

In the last three years,  life has presented me with circumstances and events that I am just happy to have survived.   I haven’t thought much about coming “alive” in a spiritual or emotional sense in a long time.  My goals were much simpler; hold on to a shred of faith and sanity…don’t scar my kids for life…avoid bankruptcy…just get through it!  In other words SURVIVE!

Now, as I contemplate what makes me come “alive, ” I do so with a fair amount of skepticism and fear.  I feel like someone who survived a bomb strike peering out the door of a fallout shelter…is it really safe to come out?  What if another bomb is on it’s way? There may not be much life in here but at least its safe.

Coming out of the survival shelter is risky but life is pretty darn limited in here.

So, what does make me come “alive?” Hugs, kisses, smiles and laughs from my babies make me feel alive.  My husbands warm touch, selfless actions, unconditional acceptance and understanding heart make me feel alive.  But, what is it that I do that makes me come to life?  What is it that I do that transcends being a wife and a mom?  What is it that I do that has potential to be a ministry to the Lord and the hurting in the world?

My answer to those questions is I write. It doesn’t matter if I am awesome at it or if a lot of people read it.   It is what I do that makes me come to life. It is how I connect with the Lord. It is how I pray. It is how I process. It is how I heal.  Maybe in the future it will be a venue to minister/encourage/teach  Who knows?

For now, this blog and writing in general is all about being “alive.”  It’s me stepping out of the survival shelter and saying safe or not, I’m getting out of here!

What do you do that makes you come “alive?”

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  1. I think you’ve got potential as a writer. 🙂


    I hate being dead inside:

    or here:


    It’s not about the video (somebody’s home made video) it’s about the words of the song. 🙂

    I want to be alive inside more than almost anything.

  2. Thanks Jon! I haven’t listened to the song yet. I’m at Starbucks and wouldn’t be able to hear it. I’ll listen to it when I am at home!

    • My internet is gone for a bit so I’m at McDonald’s to go online. Isn’t that just sad? 🙂

      I hope you enjoy the song, but don’t worry – I won’t be upset if you don’t. There isn’t much worse than when someone tries to get you to be as affected by something as they are.


  3. Paul Fillmore

     /  March 4, 2012

    Hey Stacy – I recently discovered your blog here, and have thoroughly enjoyed reading your stories, and your thoughts, and the way you’ve processed all that’s happened in the past few years. One can never say that it’s enjoyable to read about hard things, to see raw emotion, to feel along with someone you care about… but it’s REAL. It’s so central to who we are as people, to experience along with others, to laugh along with laughter, to cry along with tears. I daresay that anyone who isn’t doing this isn’t really living. Your words made me feel, they carried me along with you on your journey. When I began to read this entry, and you asked the question of what it is you do, what your ministry to the hurting is, the answer came to me without hesitation – you write. And then I read the next line, and chuckled a bit that I got the punchline just a second too early. And I’m so glad that you have your answer, and that you can see the purpose in your words. You are very gifted – you can put words to things that others may not be able to, and that is a great, great gift. To have an ache in your soul that can never be fully expressed, that nags at you, but cannot come out, because you do not know how to say it – this is the problem you solve for those who hurt. Like a song or a poem that puts the words to something you’ve felt your whole life, and when you read it for the first time, you know that at last you are not alone, that someone else has that same feeling, too, and suddenly a weight is lifted, and you are free in a new way. Anyway, you bless me through your words, and I know you will bless others, too. The challenge, I think, is to find a venue for your words, where they can truly reach the audience they deserve. Be encouraged. my friend – none of your pain is lost, and your heart to minister will find its fulfillment.

    • Hey! Where is the “Paul Fillmore” WordPress Blog?” 🙂

    • Paul- Wow, that was encouraging beyond words… Thank you so much! Right now, I’m mostly writing as a ministry to myself-to find healing, to process, to find God in the midst of the mess. Someday, I may look for an audience. We will see! Notes like this, remind me that I am not alone and that my words could one day be a “ministry” to others. That motivates me to keep writing. Thanks again-it really means a lot.


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