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Broken

I have been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be “broken”  by the Lord. 

It’s no secret, the last few years have been messy.  Disappointment, death, financial difficulty, depression, rejection, and indifference are just a few of the “trials” we have endured and continue to endure.

I have been leveled, isolated, broken.  I have been reminded of  who I would be without the redemptive power of Jesus.  It’s not good at all. 

As much as I hate to admit it, I am thankful for the mess.  I can see glimpses of what it is producing in me and it is good.  I see surrender where there was battle.  Humility where there was pride.  Compassion where there was indifference.   Trust where there was fear.

Of course, there are still battles, pride lives on, indifference protects and doubt and fear creep in.  But, they control me less than they used to. 

I have been healed and I am being healed.  God is good and scripture often talks about how God tears down in order to build up.  I understand that now more than ever before. He allowed some of the ugly stuff to be destroyed so He could re-build my broken life and make something beautiful out of it.

I have persevered (clung by a thread to my faith when I felt completely abandoned) and perseverance produces character and character produces hope.  I have hope again.

So, what does it mean to be broken?  In this season of my life brokeness came from having every high opinion of myself destroyed and ultimately coming to a place of surrender.  

Whenever I feel the fight and anxiety coming back, I just put my palms up before the Lord and say “you know best.”

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4 Comments

  1. Sometimes when I pray I ask God to teach me things. Then I add on a disclaimer: “If there is any way you can just teach me without crushing me that would be preferred!”

    Not sure if that is a valid prayer, but one can ask, eh?

    🙂

    I am glad to hear that God is still working in your life.

    Reply
    • I would like to say that I prefer the non-crushing way of learning things. Unfortunately, I think I am just too stubborn and prone to learning the hard way! I think that I will begin to add your “disclaimer” to my prayers as well. It can’t hurt, right?

      Yes, God has never stopped working in my life 🙂

      Reply

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