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Who Likes Change Anyway?

Not me!  Yet my life is about to change in some drastic ways.

When we started a family, all I wanted was to settle down.  For me, settling down meant  having an steady income, health insurance and a home of our own.  Pretty basic stuff.   We had that for awhile and let me tell you, it was the most peace-less season of my adult life.  I was miserable!

Now, we are about to leave all that behind, and I am afraid. I have a deep sense of peace about our decision to move but I am worried about the details.  Where will we live?  How will we pay for healthcare?   And, most importantly, will I have money for coffee????  Someone please tell me I will have money for decent coffee!  Please!

Yeah, yeah, I know the Bible says “do not be afraid”  a zillion or so times.  As well as saying things like “do not worry.”  And here I am, afraid and worried and strangely peaceful at the same time.  Seriously, how can all these emotions coexist in the same person?

Our pastor recently said to me “faith isn’t the absence of fear.”  Phew!  That’s a relief!

Unfortunately, I am a control freak who has to relinquish control to God at least a million times a day!   I feel like I need to take it all upon myself to make things happen and that  NEVER leads anywhere good… I still haven’t quite figured out I am not God.

Instead of trusting God with the details, I am obsessing over them, doing the math, and overwhelming myself.  The only place to find comfort, is in the Lord.  I need to BELIEVE Him when He says, “I am with you”  and “all things work together for good.”

Even….  Uprooting my kids?  Leaving my family behind?  Having a very uncertain income?  Leaving my house in the hands of strangers?  Drinking grocery store coffee?

Yes, even those things!

I don’t know what’s going to happen.  I CAN”T know what’s going to happen.  But I do know that God is in control and He has never left me alone.  I CAN know my past and I know that all things have worked (and are working) together for my good.

So, today I am going to live for today.  I’m going to face the things that are in front of me.  I am going to trust that God will be faithful, just as He always has been faithful.

Everything is going to be ok…right??

 

 

 

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3 Comments

  1. Buy Costco Coffee. I’ve heard it’s a really good roast and is inexpensive. 🙂

    Reply

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