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Being a Mom

I used to look at stay at home moms and and think they must have so much time to get things done.   At the time, I was working, going to school full time, being a wife and trying to manage a home.  I thought I was busy!

Now, I have three whole days at home each week.  I used to get so much done on the rare occasion I could stay home all day.  Not anymore!  Today, I paid our car payment, went through some mail and filled out some paper work. It took ALL day!  Why?  Because I am a mom and my baby is mobile!

I somehow have to fit cleaning, phone calls, and paying bills in while playing, changing diapers, making baby food, feeding Josiah, reading Dr. Seuss books, saying “no no” and chasing him all over the place.   Now, I really am busy!

Some days, I load Josiah up in the car and we go out for no reason other than going through the drive through at Starbucks.  It’s not because I need coffee that much. It’s because he can’t get out of his car seat and that means that I can sit still for the twenty minutes it takes to get there and back!

Being a mom is not easy.  It is tiring…it is inconvenient…it is messy…it is often frustrating…but it is totally worth it!  I wouldn’t trade being Josiah’s mom for anything in the world.

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Our Miracle

Eight and a half months ago, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. Unfortunately, the birth experience was far from perfect.  My placenta prematurely tore away from the wall of my uterus and put both mine and Josiah’s lives at risk. The doctor’s acted quickly and I had no problems but Josiah was born barely alive. He was not breathing and his heart was barely beating. He was resuscitated and life returned to his blue, lifeless body.

When the placenta tore, Josiah was cut off from his oxygen source and was diagnosed with Hypoxic Ischemic Encephalopathy (lack of oxygen to the brain at birth).  The next two weeks were very difficult as we learned that he could have significant brain injury and that he may never lead a normal life.

Day by day, he made progress.  Things that we take for  granted were major milestones…breathing on his own, eating etc… He had an MRI that confirmed our fears. He did have brain damage. A small area in the back of his brain was dead due to ruptured cells. The doctor could not tell us what this would mean. She told us that we would only be able to tell as he developed and that he could have significant problems or he could be perfectly normal.  That is quite a range of possibilities!

Two weeks after Josiah was born, we were able to take him home. We did so with a lot of fear. We have anxiously awaited every milestone, smiling, laughing, babbling, rolling, and crawling.  Each time he meets a milestone, I feel a burden lift.  He has seemed to be “normal”  but the thought that maybe something is wrong is always there.

Today, Josiah had his first developmental check up. He was seen by four different specialists and found to be developing perfectly! The doctor told us that it is very unlikely that he will have any birth related problems!

We believe that Josiah is our miracle. What a testimony he is of God’s sovereignty and faithfulness!  I will never know why all of that happened but what I do know is that I have seen God ordering our steps all the way through this.